What Is The Legacy You Are Leaving?

"Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Trouble chases sinners, while blessings reward the righteous. Good people leave an inheritance to their grandchildren, but the sinner’s wealth passes to the godly." Proverbs 13:20-22, NLT

"The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them." Proverbs 20:7, NLT

"Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." Proverbs 22:6, NLT

"As the time of King David’s death approached, he gave this charge to his son Solomon: “I am going where everyone on earth must someday go. Take courage and be a man. Observe the requirements of the Lord your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go. If you do this, then the Lord will keep the promise he made to me. He told me, ‘If your descendants live as they should and follow me faithfully with all their heart and soul, one of them will always sit on the throne of Israel." 1 Kings 2:1-4, NLT

In reflecting on my life at this stage, I have been contemplating the legacy I will leave for my family, particularly my children and grandchildren. While I have always been a person of faith, I acknowledge that I did not consistently prioritize raising my family within the church. My greatest hope is that my children will understand that I loved them dearly and that my life was defined by my love for God. While they are aware of my love for them, I recognize that I did not always provide the most effective spiritual guidance. There were many instances where my actions did not serve as the best example. Although I believe that three of my four children have a relationship with God, I feel I failed to teach them to pursue their faith with their whole heart.

Every parent makes mistakes; it is an inherent part of the journey. I often wonder what kind of legacy I am building. How will I be remembered after I am gone? Will they recall a father who loved them, who made time for them, who taught them to be independent, to love others, and who encouraged them after they stumbled? Or will I be remembered as an overly strict or lenient disciplinarian? Was I too concerned with being liked rather than being a parent? Did my actions demonstrate my faith, and did I effectively teach them about God's love?

I believe three of my children would say that I made mistakes but always did my best. My other child, however, would likely say that I was a terrible father—mean, unloving, judgmental, and contemptuous. While I know in my heart that this was not my intention, I was doing my best. As my oldest child, we were navigating new territory and did not always know the right way to act. Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding roles one can have. While books can offer guidance, they cannot fully prepare you. You must draw upon your upbringing, life experiences, and God's love and example.

I was fortunate to have amazing parents who were actively involved in my life and taught me to love God. I have often wondered why I struggled to instill the same values in my own children. When I met my wife, I learned that her mother had used religion in an abusive way. I was afraid to make my wife feel that way, fearing it would drive her further from God. This led to a reluctance to pray with her, as I found it easier to do so with a stranger. I believe this mindset extended to my children, as I was concerned about repeating the negative experiences my wife had endured. Rather than being a fiery example of God's love, I was lukewarm, prioritizing being their friend over their spiritual guide.

With the arrival of grandchildren, I have become more proactive in sharing my love for God with my family. I want my grandchildren to know how much God loves them. I am striving to be more present with my wife and children, to share the faith that I previously held back. This renewed commitment brings to mind King David's final charge to his son Solomon, where he instructed him on what is most important and how to live a life in right standing with God: "Observe the requirements of the Lord your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go. If you do this, then the Lord will keep the promise he made to me. He told me, ‘If your descendants live as they should and follow me faithfully with all their heart and soul, one of them will always sit on the throne of Israel.'"

Reading this passage, I am reminded of King David and the legacy he left. He was a great king who loved the Lord with his whole heart, but he also made significant mistakes and was not the best father. Even after his errors, God did not abandon him. God guided David and shaped him into the greatest king Israel ever had. David's legacy is defined not by his perfection but by his choice to turn to God in his failures. God showed David how to be a good father, and in turn, David left a legacy that ultimately led to the lineage of Jesus Christ. When David gave his charge to Solomon, he could not have known what the future held, but he trusted in God's promises. We now know that through David's lineage, there were both good and bad kings, but God's promise was fulfilled, bringing us the salvation of Jesus Christ.

I do not fear death, as I know where I am going. I only fear being alone in death, separated from the legacy I have built. My fear is that I have left a legacy where my children and grandchildren no longer want to know me, and that my wife will see me as a burden. I know my time on this earth is limited. I pray that I can leave a legacy that is etched in their hearts and minds, and that they, too, will learn to love God as much as I do.

My journey has taught me that we are never finished growing. I hope my story encourages my children to learn from their own mistakes, to live with love, and to always seek a deeper relationship with God. In the end, I pray that my legacy is not defined by my mistakes, but by the love I had for my family and for God. It is a legacy I am still writing, and one I hope my children and grandchildren will carry on.